Semper Fi by K. Leigh

Kari woke up despite herself. She looked around the room hoping it had changed, but it hadn’t, not for at least four days. Ryan’s pajamas were still thrown about the floor where he had left them on Sunday. His boxers were still on the floor of the bathroom from when he took his shower. The only thing that she had the strength to move was the note he had written her. She would not contaminate her mirror, but she wouldn’t throw it out either.

She gingerly placed her feet on the carpet, gathering the strength to carry out the day. She moved about the room silently as if it was just another normal day. She winced when the floor creaked too loud, forgetting that there was no sleeping Marine to wake. She gracefully got ready, wearing the little black dress she had worn on their first date. She didn’t have much time to shop for a new one, so Kari was thankful that her present dress was not too showy, but good for all occasions. She put on her makeup flawlessly, her eyes constantly darting to that spot she had found the folded up piece of paper. She finished up as quickly as she could and left the room, being careful to let out no more than a slight click come from the door. She paused outside the bedroom and made her way downstairs to wait in silence. She couldn’t eat – not today.

Her best friend Marianne greeted her from the couch feeling sorry for her, but she knew that Kari was in no mood for a friendly pick-me-up chat. They sat silently until the limousine pulled up to carry them off. Kari grabbed her coat, which was placed neatly next Ryan’s before heading out the door and into her ride.

By the time the afternoon had come, Kari’s makeup was making marks down her red face. Standing by Ryan’s grave she watched everyone turn to leave. They were going to the lunch provided for them to talk merrily amongst themselves while Kari was dying on the inside. She didn’t know what she was going to do, how she was going to go on, or how to survive without Ryan, her best friend and husband, by her side.

“Why?” she managed to whisper to Marianne after everyone had gone, tears threatening to return. “Why would he leave me by myself?” Marianne stood ready, knowing full well what was coming next. “He was supposed to take care of me! He was supposed to love me! He was supposed to talk to me!” Kari was inching forward towards the headstone that marked a life taken too soon.

“Kari, he did love you. It’s not your fault. C’mon. We have to get to the restaurant,” she wasn’t even glancing at her watch, but keeping close to Kari.

Kari’s leg lifted as she swung it towards the large casket. “YOU BASTARD!” Her heel made contact with the box. “YOU SELFISH BASTARD! DIDN’T YOU THINK OF ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?!” She continued to kick at Ryan’s resting place. Marianne threw her arms around Kari and easily drug her away, out of range, towards the car.

Kari was not mentally there at lunch. She greeted her guests as she did at the funeral parlor, with blank eyes and few words. Marianne kept a close watch and even insisted she sleep over for the night again. Kari was not returning to Earth for a while. Even in the night she sounded like a ghost, wailing and making loud noises that told Marianne a few objects attacked the wall under her orders.

“Alright,” Marianne said with the door open and the sun shining through. “I have to leave. Are you going to be alright?” Kari nodded, but Marianne was still not convinced. They hugged tightly and Marianne reluctantly left the household.

Kari surveyed the living room as if it was her first time. It was bright, welcoming, and pristine, exactly the opposite of how she felt. She growled at it as if it offended her, but moved to Ryan’s recliner, which sat in front of the tv. Many times he sat there watching the football games, even if his team wasn’t playing. Quite often they had cuddled together on the couch and watched movies on the same screen before bed. Kari turned it on. A familiar sound came melodically to her ears.

“Here’s looking at you, kid.”

She screamed in anger and threw the remote on to the floor after turning that trash off. It was all a lie. There was no such thing as happily ever after, not for her. She jumped up and started to take her frustration out on the inanimate objects – cushions, lamps, pictures, whatever she could get her hands on.

She stomped up the stairs making as much noise as she could as if she were a small child that just got sent to her room. She flopped down on the bed as the tears started to flow all over again. She curled up and let them come. In fact, she invited them. Ryan hated to see her cry and now she would do so just to spite him.

“For better, or for worse. In sickness and in health,” Kari struggled, “In joys…and in…sorrows.” She sobbed even harder. “Until death do we part.”